I often think of Don Music. His hyperbolic way of dealing with failure made me laugh as a kid because as a kid, you know the alphabet and can start rooting him on. Kids get to see failure from the viewpoint of their competence and notice their compassion for the struggling person. Kids don’t get this very often - competence is elusive as a child, especially if much is demanded from them.
Here, unveiled, is my new possible failure. My new solo-private practice. Also, paradoxically, my new possible success. I am a couples therapist who believes in the potential for transformation through the love and attachment of a partner.
I’ve seen people take steps to improve their mental health because they could see how it was affecting their partner. I’ve seen people shift in their alcohol consumption because it was destroying their relationship, and they finally “got it.” This is a controversial position in ways because shouldn’t it be “for themselves” that people change and not others? Ideally. And yet often times that first step to waking up and getting out of bed is the hardest. It’s that first time you decide not to take a drink that’s the scariest.
So I am basing my new practice on couples counseling to honor those times when the individuals in my couples get to make a lasting change in themselves and in their relationships for the sake of love. What can be better than that?