I can always tell when I’m feeling really inadequate. I’ll get a need to buy something. Shopping is a way for me to compensate for my own inadequacies.
I think,“I’m not enough, but Amazon has something that will make up for it!”
When a shopping urge happens when I’m under stress, it’s a “somatic flag” for me. It tells me that there’s something happening in my head & heart that needs examining.
So lately, I’ve been making videos. The first example of which is on the front page of my website. It’s not perfect. I had one of my colleagues look at it. I had my wife look at it. And it’s “good enough.” It gives people a small glimpse of how I think and educates them in a small way. But I can’t tell you how many times I wish I had a 15” macbook pro so I could make my videos so much more efficiently.
“Then people would understand how amazing EFT couples counseling is!” I argued in my head.
“People would come and they won’t have to sit in the pit of despair in their relationship! It would be so good for everyone if I got a Macbook Pro!” And so the arguments came, and they were so convincing when I was talking to myself!
But at the end of the day, when my trusted advisors gave me constructive criticism for my video, no one said,”You need a Macbook Pro.”
Best of all, no one said,”You know, you’re not enough.”
Enjoy the first draft of my video. More are coming, I promise. They just take a WHOLE LOT more time than I ever thought.