Depression is one of the top causes of disability across the globe. More than seven percent of adults have experienced at least one depressive episode. In other words, it’s not uncommon for a person to find themselves in the position of supporting a partner with depression. But common does not equate to simple. This can be a daunting task.
As you’re about to see, the first crucial step is to learn as much as possible about depression. From there, be ready to learn more. It is essential that you debunk the myths and gain a proper understanding of this condition in order to effectively support your partner.
Step One: A Commitment to Self-Education
Here’s some basic info to get this process started. A person is said to have a major depressive disorder if they have been experiencing depression symptoms for at least two weeks. Such symptoms may include a palpable sense of sadness, worthlessness, or despair, of course. But also, here are some lesser known signs:
Unexplained physical aches, pains, etc.
Sudden weight gain or loss, plus changes in appetite
Losing interest in activities that once excited you (including sex)
Changes in sleep patterns (sleeping much more or much less)
Anxiety
Rumination
Inability to focus and concentrate
Fatigue
Anger or agitation
Thoughts of death, dying, or suicide
Bear in mind that depression is not linear or predictable. Your partner may display any or all of the above signs one day, but then, none of them for a few days. Accepting the ebb and flow is a major form of support.
Perhaps the best approach is to open the lines of communication. If you’re not sure about something, ask your partner for more information. Show them you are committed and serious about this learning process.
Other Ways You Can Support Your Partner Who has Depression
Don’t Take Your Partner’s Depression Personally
Sure, there will be times when you feel neglected and even abandoned. Your partner is not doing this on purpose. It’s not the fault of either of you. With the help of a skilled therapist, you can learn how to strike a balance. You want your partner to know you’re with them for the long haul.
Use It as an Opportunity to Connect as a Team
For better or for worse, remember? Depression can put that lofty promise to the test, but it also offers you a rare opportunity. You can learn so much about each other — and about your relationship — when challenged. Nobody volunteers for such a test, but once you’re in it, why not learn from it?
Take Good Care of Yourself
You will need endurance and resilience to be the supportive partner you wish to be. This will not happen if you try to be a superhero. Take breaks. Set boundaries. Ask for outside help. It is not selfish to find the time to focus on self-care and me-time. Safeguard essential habits related to sleep, diet, and exercise.
Help Them Help Themselves
Guide your partner as they seek professional help. If all parties agree it could be useful, attended therapy with them when it’s appropriate. Moderate their medications. Help them keep a schedule. You are supporting and empowering them at the same time.
Do Not Try to Do It All Alone
You will need a mental health practitioner to play a major role. All your love is crucial, but it must be a complement to professional treatment. If your partner is displaying signs of depression, let’s talk soon. I can help you find the balance and healing you are both seeking. It all begins with a free and confidential consultation.
If you want to learn more about how I think of couples counseling, stop by my marriage and couples counseling page. If you are in Minnesota and want to understand how you can let go of an unhealthy relationship, let’s talk soon. I’m in Edina and serve the greater Minneapolis area. You can reach me by phone: 612-230-7171 or email through my contact page. Or you can click on the button below and self-schedule a time to talk by phone or video.